Lost in Bruckner

Last night we performed Bruckner's eighth symphony, a mammoth work of four movements that lasts about an hour and a quarter. It felt like one of the best performances of my career--a few minor errors here and there on my part and elsewhere in the orchestra, but overall a fantastic, electrifying concert. The audience was our captive, seeming to hold their collective breath even between movements. When we finished, exhausted and sweaty, they rose to their feet shouting bravos, looking transported.

The piece is, according to Mario's interpretation, a searching for answers which do not immediately appear, but when hope is lost, the answer is revealed in a great triumph of ecstasy. This interpretation is linked to Bruckner's ardent Catholicism, his use of hymns to Mary, his almost mystical approach to religion. While I do not share these beliefs, I share the searching for answers and not finding them, losing hope, finding hope.

The orchestra itself is going through a period of loss--a member lost his wife a few weeks ago, others lost parents, our bass trombonist is retiring early for scary medical reasons. I think that these real life events push us as a group to instill more power into our music-making. Music is real--it has a tangible effect on humans. It can make us cry, laugh, unite, wonder. I feel that we transcended our daily grind approach to the job with last night's concert, and while I doubt that we can maintain that for long, I look forward to tonight.